<![CDATA[ZedRadio.ca - Blog]]>Thu, 29 Oct 2020 01:27:25 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Glorious radio...]]>Wed, 30 Sep 2020 16:50:56 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/glorious-radioIf there's something that I hate doing the most during my creative day it's posting my thoughts to the Internet. I understand that people want to know what's going on inside my head, but you gotta know, what's in my head isn't always what's in the masses. I often deviate to no mans land and turn into a computer geek because all I do is eat, sleep and work on my computer. It's a sad day when I can't sit, stoned, in front of my computer and come up with stuff to type. I think I am in love with my corner store guy. He's very hot. I like to go in there to just look at him, but then I never get caught looking. I'm not sure how much he would mind it anyway. So I just got this text from a guy called "Forbes"; I have no way of telling if this is his real name or not so don't get too excited. He asked me "what's up" I said "not much you?" and so the story goes on and on until a ghost scares them away. ]]><![CDATA[Being Bored is fun...]]>Mon, 28 Sep 2020 23:01:27 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/being-bored-is-funWaiting for the fucking process to finish before I write this sentence was a sloppy way to say that I am so bored. Sometimes I don’t know what to do I get so fucking bored. Halifax is starting to look like a pretty shitty city to be gay in. I can’t even think of a club or night spot that is officially open and officially gay. Then again I don’t think there is one spot in Halifax that is specifically gay even on a good night. Anyway. That should be the least of my worries right now. I did a 360 on the job again. I quit on Monday. Maybe I should have waited but all that would have meant is that I would have quit on Tuesday. The reason I quit? Well, there are two stories neither of which of course I’m going to get into right now unless, of course, you want me to? 
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<![CDATA[i'm just posing as an adult...]]>Wed, 23 Sep 2020 17:44:18 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/im-just-posing-as-an-adultSo nobody told me it was going to be like this. Oh wait. Just a minute. There's that song.. "you can check out the menu but you just can't eat, you can do the dishes but you can't have a seat." That's kinda where I'm at right now, and guess what? I have a single beer in the fridge and since it's after two pm I'm gonna drink it. I'm one of those who believes that, although it must be two pm somewhere, it should be after noon here before you have another drink, Hair of the dog can lick my balls. I'm taking on the Internet full tilt now. I'm SEO'ing my pages to death. I'm probably not including all of the correct headers and links and shit but I'm doing my best. So if it's good enough for you that's fantastic. That's what I intened. 
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<![CDATA[It's not all bad...]]>Tue, 22 Sep 2020 14:57:42 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/its-not-all-badSo the radio station is looking good. 
I know that drinking is not the way to deal with your problems, but I sure wish I had a couple of  beers right now. 

In fact, I may, when the clock turns twelve, run over and grab some. It's my right as an adult to drink whenever I want as long as I'm staying within the confines of the law. So, no, you won't see me running down Spring naked as a jay bird. But you may find me involved in an emotional three way. You can decide yourself what that means. I made the image below. I was quite proud of myself. 

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<![CDATA[sometimes i write stuff...]]>Sat, 12 Sep 2020 23:20:04 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/sometimes-i-write-stuff5073955​My young relationship with my father came to a head when I was fourteen, and I requested to be removed from the house by social services because my father was getting physically violent with me. After a really nasty punch in the face I decided that I wanted out.
“Good for you!”, you say. Talk about going from the frying pan into the fire. The foster home I was posted with was just as bad, if not worse than where I had come from in the first place. The household was run by racist bullies, and thus the rule of thumb was the toughest got what they wanted regardless of the expense to others. It was a totally toxic environment.
But I got out. I went from there back to my parent’s house. I shuffled a lot between their house and living arrangements. I really couldn’t stand my father, but sometimes it was just the best place to be for what I could afford.  I paid rent from the time I started working to the day I left the house. I contributed to Dave’s drink tab.
I went through a period of time when I couldn’t stand my mother either. I just couldn’t figure out why she was staying with my father? Did she really mean to sacrifice all of us or did she think we could all just wade our way out of the situation and turn in to well-adjusted adults? Ya think?
All of the siblings have mental health issues. Depression, addiction, personality disorders…they’re all alive and well in my family tree. And it’s obvious who’s who when we’re all together. But we haven’t all been together for quite some time. I haven’t seen my brother in a year at least, though I talk to him on the phone every day.
I miss my brothers and sister when I don’t see them or talk to them. Though I don’t think the feelings are mutual most of the time. They just don’t seem to think that getting together as a whole family is even possible because of parts of my family’s beliefs. 
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<![CDATA[sometimes I do stuff...]]>Fri, 11 Sep 2020 20:49:53 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/sometimes-i-do-stuff
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<![CDATA[Sometimes i write stuff...]]>Thu, 10 Sep 2020 22:15:39 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/september-10th-20208992782​There’s been a lot of shit weighing on my mind lately, most of which has to do with money. I have a love hate relationship with money. Everyone around me seems to be the same way too, except I have no vices officially anyway. Rick and Brenda smoke and drink on a regular basis which interrupts their flow of cash all the time. Mom would usually be attending three bingos a week, which I’m guessing is probably the furthest she can stretch her pensions over the month. I really don’t care, in any way, how they choose to spend their money, but when it’s gone, it’s gone. Nobody’s going to come crying to me for it because they know that I don’t have it. Someday I’m going to surprise the fuck out of them and actually have it. That would be sweet.
I’m in a bitter, bitter, argument with myself right now. I just had a Starbuck’s and I think it was my most missed thing during isolation. It tasted yummy. And there always seems to be good looking men hanging around the outside. I’m not really sure what that’s all about, but fuck it. Works for me. 
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<![CDATA[Sometimes I write stuff...]]>Thu, 10 Sep 2020 21:23:38 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/september-10th-2020THE CALL
I remember the day crisp and clear, as though it’s happening all over again in my mind. I’m at school working my shift for the security department when I get this call over the radio.
“Darren, come in.” said the office staffer. I replied, she said, ”Darren the police are here for you, something has happened.”
I was a bit stunned, but tailed it to the office to find OPP Officers waiting to take me to my sister’s place in Mississauga. They were looking for me for days. I had a phone that I seldom answered because I was on the go so much and I didn’t like pagers so I was pretty much a lone wolf.  In any case, they took me to my sister’s place in Mississauga where she told me that my father had committed suicide. 
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<![CDATA[Sometimes I write stuff...]]>Thu, 10 Sep 2020 20:31:25 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/sometimes-i-write-stuff4543353THE CALL
I remember the day crisp and clear, as though it’s happening all over again in my mind. I’m at school working my shift for the security department when I get this call over the radio.
“Darren, come in.” said the office staffer. I replied, she said, ”Darren the police are here for you, something has happened.”
I was a bit stunned, but tailed it to the office to find OPP Officers waiting to take me to my sister’s place in Mississauga. They were looking for me for days. I had a phone that I seldom answered because I was on the go so much and I didn’t like pagers so I was pretty much a lone wolf.  In any case, they took me to my sister’s place in Mississauga where she told me that my father had committed suicide. 
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<![CDATA[Sometimes i write stuff...]]>Wed, 02 Sep 2020 19:23:17 GMThttps://zedradio.ca/blog/sometimes-i-write-stuffTHE GUY
I want to say his name was Darryl, but I’m not really sure. He was the guy that I met in Toronto after I got home from Dad’s funeral. He was a skinhead. He looked the part in no uncertain terms. He had a great Mohawk and wore Doc Martins up to his knees all dressed in black. He was hot.
Darryl really liked me for some reason. We met on a telephone dating service. It was kind of wild that we should meet that way, but we did. He enjoyed sex, as did I, so we made a great couple for the weekend that we were together. He took me out to my first rave, and introduced me to the world of pills and Special K.
I remember him because he was so kind to me at a time when I really needed someone in Toronto to be really kind to me. I had just got home from Halifax, the funeral, the fucking eulogy. I was a mess, and I think Darryl knew it. He treated me well. I am thankful.
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